I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
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