Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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