U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
