I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
