The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
