just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
