ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
