Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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