Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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