You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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