And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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