i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
