He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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