You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
