I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well you can't waste a boner
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
