i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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