I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize