All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
