We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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