Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
