I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
