I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
