I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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