Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
this is an emotional support booty call
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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