Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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