Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
