Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
