So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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