That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
