she was so not down for the gang bang
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
