i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
