My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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