It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hippo gnu deer
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
