Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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