i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
