hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
