I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
