5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
