tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
