I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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