my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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