just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The air was thick with penises
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
