I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
