Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
