Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
