actually, I'm a sock model
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
