There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
