Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
