he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
