i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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