im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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