Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
